Wouldn’t it be amazing if every child is born with an instruction manual? Imagine not having to worry a day about how to talk to your child, how to discipline a child or how to convince them to do something they don’t want. Unfortunately, that’s not the case.
Our kids are all different, special, talented and gifted in their own unique ways. There is no one-size-fit-all strategy to effective parenting and different parenting styles will affect our children very differently. It is through countless trial-and-errors, testing out differently strategies, that we can begin to realize what works and what does not with our kids.
Especially when it comes to raising children in Singapore, where the competition starts as young as getting into a prestigious preschool for a good head start in life, many parents often find it difficult to strike a balance between raising a happy, positive child and a competitive, studious one.
Popular Parent vs. Effective Parent
Remember when our kids are much younger and they had to go for numerous vaccinations? Most of our kids might end up crying and expressing their fear for the needles and injections. Let’s be honest, we probably were like that too when we were their age. However, regardless of how much we cried, our parents, like what you did today, would force your child to go through with the vaccination. Yes, your child might end up not talking to you for the rest of the day, but you knew, it was what you needed to do. This is Effective Parenting.
Fast forward 10 to 15 years later, the idea remains. You know your child has the potential to do much better in school or is currently facing a challenge they are unaware of, you begin to source for additional help in the form of tuition or school holiday programme but your child refuses. Now, as a parent, you are stuck. Popular parents would achieve the short term goal of satisfying your child and accept no for an answer in return of that moment of love and affection. On the other hand, effective parents understand that they need to make the tough decisions in life. Their kids might not agree with their decisions now, but they will surely end up thanking them later in life.
Would you choose to be a popular parent or an effective one?